Do you often ask yourself “Am i too nice”? Growing up, we were always encouraged to be the nice guy/girl. Truth be told, being too nice is overrated. Are people really happy with overly nice people? Are the nicest of people happy with themselves?
Truth be told, being so nice often leads to resentment. People fill their minds with so much internal anger. Internal anger causes problems in professional and personal lives. It directly impacts your positivity and productivity. Worst case of internal anger happens when it affects personal lives.
Overly nice people do not hold others accountable for things they agreed to do. Eventually, they help in the tasks, which others should be doing. Imagine a manager getting involvement in micromanagement day in and day out. It wouldn’t prove helpful to the manager or the organization.
What people fail to see, when they are behaving too nice, is it doesn’t help others too. People don’t get to know what you are thinking. You often end up sugarcoating everything for people. Too much niceties robs you of an honest relationship. At the end, there will be no true friend, you can count on.
When you are being too nice, you don’t say it, when others are doing things in an inappropriate way. Such a lack of genuine communication, kills other people’s ability to do things differently. They are never going to fix problems, which they never realized. Too much niceties backfire on you, more often than not.
The being too nice pattern, has to stop. Telling people the whole truth, nothing but the truth alone, sets you free. You got to state the absolute facts in the way they are. Misrepresentation of facts is just a form of manipulation. Instead of manipulating people into liking you, express yourself admirably authentic.
Let the other person show up and fix what’s broke. Give them a chance to show their real colors. You can’t judge him/her without providing an opportunity. Trying to make them look good, when they are not is stressful. It’s stress for you and everybody else. You don’t want to get jaded that way.
The most important reason why you should stop being too nice is the bad image you would create on yourself. The people, for whom you are acting too nice, won’t appreciate it often. They will not find it easy to trust you, when you are putting a front. People can spot a pretend from a distance.
Imagine you are being in a relationship and your partner doesn’t express real feelings. You can’t trust what he/she says or promises. Vice versa, when you are saying nice words more often that you should, you are putting pressure on your partner to say them as many times.
When you are being too nice in a relationship, you are literally asking your partner to pretend. No one likes to be in a relationship where he/she has to pretend. All these points discussed about niceness, brings us to the ultimate question – is kindness killing you?
Are you a nice person or not?
Try answering these simple questions to know if you are nice. Every question only has two possible answers – yes or no. The number of yeses in your answers helps rate you in scale of nicety. Brutal honesty is what we would need of you, while answering the below questions.
- Do you not argue, when your spouse falsely claims you are not a good listener?
- Will you help a friend in packing and moving, when you actually want to say no?
- Do you consistently try to please a few, when they don’t appreciate you at all?
- Do you have trouble, making your own needs as top priority?
- Do you let go, when your friend steals something from you?
- Will you lend money to a friend, when you don’t think he/she deserves it?
- Do you see yourselves chatting with friends even when you are tired to do that?
- Do you often cast a smile or greet friends, before they do it?
- Do you bend over backwards to save your colleagues career wise, when they are wrong?
- Do you consistently see yourselves friend zoned before getting into relationship?