The thing about motivation is it comes with an expiry date. You need to keep motivating yourself regularly. More importantly, you should motivate yourself with kindness. When you are trying to make it through a tough phase in life, harsh voices inside the head, doesn’t help.
A lot of us would agree on the significance of compassion. Your compassion yields best results, only when it includes you. Don’t be harsh on yourself. Give room for mistakes and accept your personality.
Observe how you talk to yourself, especially when going through difficulties. Does your mind speak in a way of patting your back? Does it sound really compassionate and soothes you in? Does it encourage you with positive words only? If you said yes to all the questions, that’s the right way to motivate yourself. If you said no, you need to add some simple mind tweaks.
We tend to believe harsh inner voice would result in self-improvement. A lot of us at least think that way. We are unforgiving of ourselves in our harsh criticisms. Sometimes we tend to go overboard, thereby being brutal to ourselves. What we emphasize in those situations, is to tweak your thinking.
Being harsh in criticism isn’t necessarily the way forward. Would you be harsh in your criticism, if it was your loved ones instead of you? Ideally you wouldn’t be, because it wounds the relationship. Similarly, self-criticisms can make your conscience and heart, distant.
When it comes to self motivation, kind words are more effective than harsh inner voices. You need to gather as much relaxation and hope as you can, especially when you are already down. Inner criticism doesn’t stop you from repeating the mistakes in future. Instead, it develops stress and attacks self-esteem.
Self-criticisms make you conscious about the pitfalls. It doesn’t instill self-confidence, rather gets you nervous. Following procrastination, you are more likely to berate yourself in worst ways. In my personal experience, the more you berate yourself, the more likely you are going to postpone things again. That is how stress works on average human minds.
The points discussed above, leads us to one straightforward question – how to stop being harsh on ourselves? Being harsh on ourselves isn’t weakness, its human nature. It can be undone by exercising caution. When you catch yourself red handed for berating yourself, freeze your thought process. Do not try to argue over what you said or play some nasty tug of war in your mind. Instead, take a deep breath and relax.
Do not engage your conscious and inner critic to get into an argument. Understand, self-criticism means to help you. It’s the natural response aimed to deter repeating of specific actions, which lead to failures in life. When it gets harsh, it’s time to acknowledge the help and bid your byes to your inner critic.
Make sure to show kindness to everyone, including you. Don’t consciously motivate yourself with kindness. When your motivation seems harsh, inject kindness into it. Such an approach would do wonders in day to day life.